Mr. the Tiger's Den

3rd Blurbling

2007-01-04T10:55:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a happy new year. I have a good feeling about 2007. I think it's gonna be a good year. Better than the last one, anyway; not to sound to whiny, but I can hardly see how it could be worse.

Yep, we're Blurbling again. I find I kind of enjoy these, so they're probably going to be a staple of this blog's content for a while.

Blurbling III, esq.

I'm starting to find that one of the big advantages to having a review blog is that occasionally people send you free stuff for mentioning their name. On a related note, I've been listening to Fishing for Comet's CD, Scattered Among the Archipelago. A solid chunk of music, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a shill. I found the tendency towards intellectual lyrics and richly textured production to be quite pleasant, but on the other hand some might find a couple of the songs a little too sugary to their tastes. Now, if only we could get them to tour outside of Texas...

And while we're ~~sucking up~~ giving objective opinions about wonderful things, I recently came across a, well, I suppose you would call it a webcomic, but it really has little in common with any other object I have used that term for. With absolutely incredible eclectic art, and writing that doesn't just border on pretentious but has actually invaded and set up a brutal dictatorship, it was more or less predetermined that I'd be a fan of Dresden Codak. Note that as of this writing, the most recent comic is mostly a joke, and you'll need to go back a page to get to the good stuff. I would also like to state that I would pay good -- possibly even real -- money to play Dungeons and Discourse.

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I picked up the translated copy of the first of Keiichi Shigusawa's Kino no Tabi novels. The translation is solid, but imperfect, choosing to leave out a lot of the book's unique terminology: Persuaders become just handguns, et cetera. There's also a bit of wonderful incongruity in that there's quite a lot of descriptive, bloody violence going on, especially in the later chapters, but the characters all say things like "darn" and "crap". They also rearranged the chapters, which doesn't have a huge effect, since the chapters are pretty well self-contained, but it seems rather unnecessary. I can understand -- even if I don't agree -- some of it: putting Land of Adults first to get the back-story out of the way right out of the gate, but then I feel that Land of Peace has more of an impact to end on than Colosseum, so I dunno.

Neverwinter Nights 2 is proving to be a rather effective time-waster. It plays rather more like the Baldur's Gate games than the original Neverwinter Nights, which is a good thing in my book. The NPCs are actually interesting this time around, and the new Warlock class is a lot of fun, but there are some quibbles: for instance, the camera is always centered on the character you're controlling, which makes it very difficult at times to get people where they need to be. And the NPC AI can be rather poor, which leaves you with the unpleasant choice of either micromanaging every little thing they do in combat, or letting the AI waste spells and abilities because you don't feel like baby-sitting them. It's not as much of a deal-breaker as it may sound, but it is aggravating at times.

And that's it for this round. Now, if y'all will excuse me, I'm off to work on getting my WoW characters prepped for The Burning Crusade. Later!

2nd Blurbling

2006-12-03T18:03:00.000-08:00

The problem with thinking things in your life can't possibly get any worse is that the bounds of possibility are so damn wide. At any rate, no one comes here to hear me ***** about my personal problems, wonderfully ironic they may be, so let me sum it up this way: the reason there was a light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be because it was on fire.

Moving on, it's time for another Blurbling!

Blurbling 2: the Son of Blurbling

Saw Deja Vu in the theatre the other day. A very good movie, I thought. One of the best I've seen recently, though as a devoted Denzel Washington fan, I'm really not an unbiased commentator. I specifically appreciated the movie's subtle and intelligent, if constant, use of foreshadowing. This is opposed to how movies like, say, X-men 3 use it: as a weapon, wielded in malice against the audience. There was, as I watched Deja, a vague feeling that I'd seen this all before, but if you think about it, that's actually pretty clever.

Found a site a while back, Tektek.org, which has a pretty neat little avatar creator. Technically, it's meant for some weird little social MMO, Gaia Online, but the sheer amount of customization available here means that it works pretty well in a general sense, as long as you can stand the overall hyper-cutesy anime style. Quite useful, I think, to anyone whose online personae take on a separate reality of their own. A couple examples: Clara and (Living) Marr.

Got Yggdra Union recently. Those with remarkable memory capacity will recall I blurbed about this one in the past, but now I can actually understand what's going on when I play it, which is always nice. Well, usually anyway.... It plays like a slightly dumbed down Fire Emblem, with somewhat more interesting artwork. I really wish the battlefields weren't so cramped, and the formation system could use some serious work, but it's still an interesting diversion.

I've actually been buying some modern music recently. (Please no theorizing about what I'd been doing up until now; I always buy the music I listen to. Although, to be perfectly honest, cause and effect may be a little more tenuously linked there than is the case for most.) Generally speaking, if it's been recorded in this country in the last twenty or so years I've had fairly minimal interest in it, but in the last month I've picked up the most recent BNL and Indigo Girls albums, both solid releases from bands I regularly follow. And, thanks to Pandora and ultimately Nigolos, a few Dream Theater and Fishing for Comets CDs are on my list next time I head out.

That's it for now. These Blurbles are kinda fun, so I think I'll keep doing them for a while. I guess it just depends on how long I can keep coming up with cutesy titles for them. See y'all later, I'm off the drown my sorrows in Pepsi and video games.

(Healthy living is something that happens to other people.)

1st Blurbling

2006-11-12T22:37:00.000-08:00

Oh em geez! An update! Betcha never thought you'd see one of these again. Once again, no, I haven't died... Wait, actually I have. I'm posting this from the next world, and, lemme tell ya, you wouldn't believe the kind of connection you get get here in Nirvana is nothing short of incredible. So... Hmm, what's that? I'm not in Nirvana? Nerdvana? Oh, I see, that explains it then.

Okay, in all seriousness, I am still alive and even breathing occasionally. I would like to say I've been busy, but that simply wouldn't be true. What I have mostly been is lazy. And in the few instances I've actually had the motivation to actually do something other than my eggplant impression, I've had too many things and people jockeying for my attention to want to put forth the effort to write here. In an effort to rectify this, I'm trying out yet another sort-of-kind-of new format. To whit: Blurbling. These are going to be quick and loosely connected, so hang on. And no, there is no double entendre in that last sentence, so you can stop looking.

The First Blurbling

My good friend Nigolos over at Undead-Karma recently introduced me to Pandora radio, and I may never forgive him for it. Basically, you input your favorite band or genre of music, and it, based on you ratings, slowly builds the perfect internet radio station tailored to your personal preferences. Well, that's the theory anyway; the actually result is usually far more interesting. I just wish the music in their database was a bit more varied language-wise, but I guess you can't have everything.

Went and saw The Prestige the other day. A solid movie. It's just smart enough to keep you interested, but not so much that there are any real surprises coming out of the twists. Oh yes, if you like plot twists, this is definitely the movie for you. If, on the other hand, you think 2,034 clever little reversals is just a bit too much for one movie, you may want to stay at home.

Oh, and I'm doing something I promised myself I'd never do again: I'm playing two MMO's simultaneously. Until I come to my senses, I am Whimsy on the Seraph server in FFXI and (for the time being) Garrov on the Stormreaver server in WoW. If you happen to play either of these games on those servers and see me around, feel free to drop me a line. If nothing else, it'd be good to know that more than two people read this blog.

Finally, my PS2 has been seeing some heavy use lately. Between Okami, a powerful little action-adventure which plays like a cross between the Legend of Zelda and the original Actraiser, and Guitar Hero, the game that brings out rock-superstar in all of us, my aging black-box hardly has time to cool down.

Okay, I should probably break there. Gotta save some stuff for the next blurbling, after all. I might get an actual review up some time in the near-ish future, but no promises. See y'all later! (By the way, am I the only one who thinks that Blogger's spellchecker catching the word "blog" as a mistake is horribly amusing?)

Update for the Sake of Updating (Meta-post)

2006-08-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

Life is wonderfully ironic, isn't it? For the last couple of months I've had boundless amounts of time and energy to spend on this blog, but absolutely nothing to write about. Now, on the other hand, I've got more things to write about than I can keep track of, but no time or energy to spare. If anyone has stuck around for the last month that I haven't posted, well, I'm not going to apologize, because I've done that so many times already I'm sure you're tired of hearing it. By the same token, I won't say I'm going to do better. I will, however ask y'all to bear with me for a bit.

I've decided to scrap the Titan Quest review I was working on, or at least set it aside for a while, and crank out a rant on translation that's been bouncing around in my head recently. I realize that a rant may not be the best thing to start my come back with, but honestly it's the only thing I feel like I can get behing enough to sit down and write it. Besides, it's been long enough since the last time, y'all can suffer through another one. Plus, this one has the advantage of most likely not getting me scolded by Ms. Friedman.

At any rate, I figured I should pop in for a moment to mention that I'm not dead, and, for the peeps who already know I'm not dead, that I haven't given up. I'll talk at y'all later.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (TV) Review

2006-07-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Yeek, been a while, hasn't it? Well, I've got enough material now to keep me going for a few weeks, so I should be a little better, at least for a while.

Despite the fact that it's been three weeks since my last update, I really don't have much to talk about. Been replaying Final Fantasy Tactics for about the billionth time. That game never really gets old for me. Also playing Titan Quest, the Diablo clone I commented on previously. That will likely be next week's update. Oh, and a little update to the last post: I acquired a copy Re-ACT Final Tuned, the expansion pack for Melty Blood, and I must say it makes some definite improvements over the base game. I don't like everything they did, (why did they have to mess with my Arcueid, durnit) but most of the new stuff is pretty awesome. The 'Heat' system and the addition of an arcade mode are great, and the new characters are a lot of fun, Satsuki especially.

Okay, quick bit about the Fourth of July. (My apologies to my international readers. As an American citizen, I am not only permitted, but am in fact obligated to show a bit of national chauvinism at this time of the year; it's in the Constitution. Just please bear with me.) We were kind of lazy this year, so we didn't go down to the park to see the fireworks. Which turned out just fine, since the fireworks came to us. Nature went, "Fireworks? You call those fireworks? Pfft, lemme show you something." It was probably the best lightning storm I will ever witness in my life. One bolt filled half the sky with zig-zagging arcs. As lightning storms go, that was an easy Eleven.

Not too long ago I did a Mini-Update raving about a T.V. series called "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Well, that series just finished it's run this last week, so I thought now would a good time to give it my final review, so we can bring this chapter of the blog to a close. Thus, I present The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

I may as well say it right off and get it out of the way: I liked Haruhi, and found it to be quite a good show. So, if you were expecting a fair and unbiased review, then... Hi, you must be new here! (Yes, I know I've used that joke before; I don't care. I like it, and I'll probably use it again.) That said, though, a couple of the statements I made in my last post on the subject were a trifle hasty. We'll get to those a bit later.

First, the good parts of Haruhi. The thing that'll really hit you, about as soon as you start watching the show is the animation. I won't go so far as to call it revolutionary, mostly because I rather doubt that many animation companies will follow it's example. So I will settle for slightly stronger but less controversial adjectives, like jaw-dropping and eye-popping. The show maintains near movie quality animation pretty much all the way through. It only being a fourteen episode series helps, but even so, the budget must have been phenomenal. And beyond the sheer level of quality was the attention to detail. This biggest example of this was how they completely avoided the Static Face Syndrome. Anyone who's watched more than ten minute of anime will know what I'm talking about here: it's where you have a shot of a character's face where nothing moves except the mouth, often for a good chunk of time. In Haruhi, we don't get this; character's expressions change, their postures shift. It really makes the whole suspension of disbelief thing a little less difficult. One final note about the visuals: this series contains some of the most seamless CG I've ever seen in an anime, especially in episode twelve, it took me a couple times through to realize what all was CG.

Moving past the visual elements, we come to the auditory. Voice acting was incredible. Every actor in the series was brilliant, but Aya Hirano as Haruhi stole the show. She captured Haruhi's many many different moods perfectly. Plus, the woman can sing. She did both the opening and the ending theme, plus both insert songs. Yuki Matsuoka (one of my personal favorite voice actors) as Tsuruya was also genius in action, and did not get nearly enough screen time. On the musical side, the opening and ending themes were great, and the animation sequences that accompanied them were great fun. Particularly the ED. The background music was, well... present. For most part it just did its job, but there were a few stand out moments. The use of Gustav Mahler's Symphony No. 8 in the final episode being one of them.

So far I've been pretty liberal with my flattering adjectives, but that doesn't mean I didn't find any fault with the show. My biggest quibble is one that pretty much anyone who has ever talked about the series has touched on: the airing order. What they did was they broke up the main plotline, the first book, into three chunks of two episodes each, and then set them at the beginning, middle, and end of the series, and dropped various chapters from the rest of the book series in between them to flesh it out into a full season's worth of episodes. Now, I can understand why they did this. Fourteen episodes wasn't nearly enough runtime to cover the entire book series, and at the same time there was no way to stretch just the first book to fill that much space. Doing the first two books would have been a way to fill the entire run, but would have left viewers with the feeling they had just watched two separate shows, while putting the whole of the main storyline first would have made the extra chapters feel even more disconnected than they already do. So, I don't know if there really was a better way for them to order the show, but they way they did do it meant the series peaked around episode eleven or twelve, and, at least for me, there wasn't a lot of incentive to finish watching after that.

Aside from their monkeying with story order, the show remained pretty faithful to the books. Leaving in Kyon's sarcastic, rapid-fire narration was a nice touch, and the character designs, with the exception of anime-fying the hair colors a bit, remained the same as in the books' illustrations. The show is very good, and, thanks to Kyon's commentary, downright hilarious, but the airing order is enough of a problem for me to knock it down a bit. So, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya gets a Ten out of Eleven, though if I were in the habit of decimal scores it would be about a ten point seven.

Final Score:
10/11

Which means that Azumanga remains as my all-time favorite T.V. series, at least until Yotsubato! gets animated. Next time, as I stated above, I will be reviewing Titan Quest. Hope to see you then!

Current and Future Changes. (Meta-Post)

2006-07-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, you may notice a bit of a change over on the sidebar. I don't usually point those out, but I put too much effort into this bit not to talk about it, okay? Anyway, over to your right you may notice a new heading where most of my links used to be. That would be my new Link Roulette script. Finding it was the hardest part, (Link to the place I got it is down below the footer, by the way) but modifying it to do exactly what I want took some time too. The principle behind it is, this way I can put up as many links as I like without cluttering the sidebar. Plus it gives people some small incentive to stick around, if for no other reason than to see what all is in there. To start with, I've only got my four main resource sites, but I'll be adding much more fairly soon.

(As an aside, the Workshop really proved it's worth on this one. As good ol' Nigolos over at Undead-Karma saw not too long ago, tinkering with the core of your blog can have some... unfortunate results on occasion. With the Workshop, if things happen to go pear shaped, I can hit the reset button and not lose anything.)

At any rate, aside from adding more material into the Roulette I should be done with fiddling with my side bar. The Big Three will remain as they are, with the only possible exception being if Chard starts updating with any regularity (yes, I know, I'm not one to talk), then I may have to make it into a Big Four. Honestly, and this is where the 'future' part of the title comes in, I'm seriously considering doing away with the sidebar entirely. It kinda bugs me that, no matter how uncluttered and simple I keep my sidebar, it still takes up about a third of the width of the screen at 1024x728 resolution. That's a lot of real-estate for something that's really just an aside. I'm not sure what exactly I want to do or how I'm going to doing it yet, though. And I'm really not up to the task in terms of energy or, frankly, skill right now, so it'll be a while before that goes down.

As for the actual content of this blog, well, the fact of the matter is I haven't come across much that I can write about. I didn't want to do this so soon, but I may have to start digging into some of my older stuff to find anything to talk about. I'll keep y'all posted.

Update!
Okay, I've got all the links in that I really feel should be there. If anybody runs into any trouble with the script, lemme know. Email addy is in the footer.

Doujin Game Special (VG) Multi Review

2006-06-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

And I was doing so well, too.... Actually, though, my tardiness this time isn't due to procrastination, but rather because I just couldn't think of anything to review. Anyway, trying out a new format here. More on that in a few.

Let's see now, what's up? Not much, really; stressing and associated tasks have taken up most of my free time these last couple weeks. Did manage to get caught up on the Fate/Stay Night anime. That one's hard to watch much of in a single session; the story oscillates from pretty cool to mind-numbingly stupid without a lot of prior warning, makes it kinda tricky. Honestly, though, I'd still be watching it even if it didn't have a story: Rin and Saber are freakin' hawt. (What, I'm not allowed my Loser FanBoy moments?) Rin's an easy one to fall for, being pure evil sexiness. Or perhaps sexy evilness? Either way, really. Crushing on Saber is a little more... odd, though. I've got a thing for chicks in platemail, so that contributes, but.... Well, I'm not gonna spoil it, but I think anyone familiar with the source material will know what I'm talking about.

And that's about it. Oh, DragonForce.... An interesting bunch, to say the least. Apparently they're a "melodic metal" group. Think Rush, but with some of the pretentiousness, as well as any last vestiges of sanity, stripped away. With positively maniacal guitar solos, a drummer who apparently cannot fall below 100 beats per minute or his drumkit explodes, and some of the geekiest lyric I have ever heard (and that's saying something!), their music manages to be downright goofy and big-grin fun at same time.

I mentioned that we're trying out a new format. The thing is, none of the items being reviewed today could support a full post on their own, but I still feel like talking about them. So, I figured, rather than do several separate Mini Updates, I'll just jam them all into one review. Thus, I give you the Multi Review. Dunno how often I'll do these, but it can be a handy format for when I can't think of anything worth doing a full post on. Up today are Fate/Sword Dance, Maribato!, and Melty Blood.

Fate/Sword Dance

Alright, before we really get started I should warn you that I'll be using fighting game lingo pretty heavily in this post. I'll do what I can to explain the more esoteric stuff, but if at any point you end up wondering what in the world I'm talking about, lemme know, and I'll try to clear it up.

Our first item today is also the weakest of the three, Fate/Sword Dance from Rapid Fire Soft. Based on the same visual novel as the anime series I talked about earlier, the game sounds pretty good in theory. It uses basically the same fighting engine as the Guilty Gear series, right down to the punch/kick/slash/heavy slash/launcher attack set up and absolute pain in the butt to pull off supers. Now, while ripping off Guilty Gear's fighting engine normally wouldn't be a bad thing, the folks at Rapid Fire unfortunately forgot to bring over most of the complexities -- like Roman Cancels (an ability that immediately stops whatever move you're using, allowing you to segue directly into another one. Makes for some seriously long combo attacks.) and Instant Kills -- that made it good, along with the surface stuff. Add in the fact that character balance is just b0rked, and you end up with the fighting being not so hot.

And even on top of the lukewarm gameplay, the presentation doesn't quite make the grade either. The sprites are just fugly; not only are they badly drawn, but there's some nasty pixelization going on. Animations, too, are fairly poor, though some of the supers are fairly fun to watch. Over all, Fate/Sword Dance is a Six out of Eleven. Had potential, but couldn't quite live up to it.

Maribato!

Of the original works that these games are based off of, I'm most familiar with Maribato's. I've watched the both anime series, followed Ms. Friedman's notes religiously, and while I haven't gotten around to reading the novel translation, I'm sure I'll get to it at some point. And with all the in-joke present in this game -- not to mention the sheer absurdity of seeing these characters squaring off against one another -- being familiar with the source really ups the fun factor. But that said, being a MariMite is in no way requisite for enjoying this game.

The fighting engine this time around plays more like a slightly watered down Street Fighter Alpha, but with only two attack buttons: Weak and Strong. Special attacks and Supers are pulled off using the same sets of joystick manipulations that have been engraved upon the neurons of anybody who's played Street Fighter for more than five minutes. Adding a bit of uniqueness is the tag system: you take two characters into each fight, and while you're limited in how many times you can tag by the "Soeur" bar, tags are instantaneous, making them very useful in escaping enemy combos or for setting up some fairly insane attack chains of your own.

Most of the characters in Maribato! play alot like homages to characters from other fighting games of yore, but always with enough unique twists that you can tell DK Soft put some effort into putting them together, rather than just copying over movelists. And there are a few wholly original movesets in here, too, because while Sachiko is definitely a Ryu-clone, and Sei has more than a couple Zangeif-esque moves, if there's any characters out there that plays like Noriko, I've never come across them. Where DK Soft put in the extra mile, though, is in game balance. I find Youko to be a little overpowered, and in the hands of the CPU Sei is just as cheap as her inspiration, but for the most part it's pretty even.

Graphics wise, the game is hardly award-winning, going for more cute than jaw-dropping. This is in line with the overall theme for the game, though; there's no blood or gore whatsoever, and after each fight the losers get back up and grumble about their loss. This isn't a game that takes its self overly seriously. What it may lack in depth compared to more professionally made fighters it more than makes up for in sheer fun, so I'm giving Maribato! a Nine out of Eleven.

Melty Blood

Calling this one a doujin game is actually a little iffy, since it was made by the same people who put together it's source, Tsukihime. Thing is, the game's so good, nobody really worries about it much. A lot of people say that it matches any professionally made fighting game out there, and that's not far from the truth. It's certainly better than a lot of the crap Capcom and SNK have been putting out lately.

Unlike the other two games here, Melty Blood doesn't copy over some other game's fighting engine, it pretty much comes up with it's own. There are three attack buttons, Weak, Strong, and Special, and a Shield button. The Shield is one of the more interesting innovations, it acts effectively like a Just Guard (blocking just as your opponents attack lands. Unlike with a normal block, there's no stun inflicted on you, allowing you to counter immediately.), but with it's own button rather than being a matter of timing a normal block, allowing it to be a little more precise.

Specials and Supers are also handled a little bit different in Melty Blood than in most fighters. With one exception per character, Supers are just powered up versions of the character's special attacks, and are activated by using the Special attack button in conjunction with the normal input for the special attack. This is something of a two-edged sword, because, while it makes Supers easier to get off when you need to, it also makes them easier to get off when you don't want to, wasting the Super bar and often leaving yourself wide open to counter attacks.

Character selection is fairly limited, but each character is different enough that it actually feels like there's more choices than a game like the Capcom Vs. series where there may be dozens of characters but they all into one of maybe five playstyles. And at least TYPE-MOON took great care that each character was unique, not only with respect to the other characters in the game, other, separate fighting games as well. No Shotoclones here. Tag-team maid sisters and Firewall dropping half-demons, on the other hand, are quite prevalent.

Melty Blood is above average, graphics-wise. It's not Guilty Gear gorgeous, but it's certainly pleasant enough to look at, with fluid animations and fairly impressive effects on the special attacks. If I had one major complaint, it would be with the story mode, which is awfully long-winded for a fighter. This isn't so bad the first time around, but since you have to play the story mode repeatedly to unlock all the hidden character, you end up stuck clicking through page after page of text fairly regularly. Still, it's a pretty minor issue compared to the rest of the game. Melty Blood gets an easy Ten out of Eleven.

Okay, I've given up on trying to guess ahead to my next review, so we'll all just have to wait until next time to find out what it is. 'Til then!

Ball Bullet Gun (VG) Review

2006-06-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

Well now, I wonder how many of my loyal readers I drove off with my last little b*tchfest...? On the other hand, if they've managed to slog through the other junk I put up here, I doubt that that bit would be enough to get rid of 'em.... Either way, I promise I'll try not to go off the handle like that again anytime soon.

Let's see now, what's been up? Video games have been occupying much of my leisure time this last week or so. Going back through Neverwinter Nights has been my main focus, and while I do like the game, mein gotts, was the Henchman A.I. always that stupid? And then there's Metal Saga; there's something to be said for a game that lets you reach a complete ending within thirty seconds of starting a new game. I also reinstalled Wizardry 8. I keep doing this every so often, but I'll be darned if I know why.

Oh, and I watched Serenity the other day. I kind of want to do a full post on this one, but I also don't want to do a full review, and I think I may have exausted my readership's patience for Mini-Updates with that last one, so I'll just go briefly into it here. It's a pretty good movie overall, but watching it I found myself noticing how neatly it fell under the Friedman Theory of Entertainment Media Progression. For those of you unaware of it, the Theory goes something like this: whenever a work of entertainment encompasses multiple media, the viewer should always progess from the most compact medium to the most expansive, thus gradually increasing the amount of story he or she experiences. Going the other way just upsets the viewer, as he or she grows frustrated at elements that are shortened or omitted. The reason I bring this up is that I remember several people saying that to get the full effect of Serenity one would have had to have watched Firefly, the T.V. series that spawned it. But I could see a few points in the movie where it could have gone into more detail; I can only imagine what I would have felt like if I had watched the series and known how it was supposed to go.

As I said before, this week's review is of a bit of an oldie. Released toward the trailing edge of the SNES's lifespan, B.B. Gun is further proof that our dear friends in the Land of the Rising Sun will make a video game out of anything. This week's review is of the Tactical Strategy Survival Game Sim, Ball Bullet Gun.

Ball Bullet Gun

First off, I am a serious Tactical Strategy... well, we'll say fan, since the more accurate term is a bit too impolite to use here. And I'm also a minor Airsoft enthusiast; it may not be readily apparent to all of you out there in internet land, but I'm not exactly the 'macho' type -- in fact some have gone so far as to refer to me as a [austrian accent]Girlie Man[/austrian accent] -- , yet despite this lack of testosterone, I cannot seem to escape the mysterious allure of mid to heavy ordinance. Airsoft fills this desire quite nicely, allowing me to possess fully automatic weaponry without the dangers and legal issues of actually having a real firearm around the place. So, when a game that touches on both of these interests, I 'm certainly going to sit up and take notice. So if you were expecting an unbiased review: hi, you must be new here. Welcome to the site. Joking aside, it is a decent game; not quite genius, but definitely playable.

First thing that should be said is that this game is hard. I know a thing or two about tactics, (more than a novice in a nunnery, for example. ... Sorry.) but I still end up just scraping by on most maps. But, while the difficulty is up there, the game isn't cheap. Your opponents work under the exact same set of rules you do (though the random number generators seem to favor them. That could just be me, though), and you never end up with any artificial disadvantages placed upon you. Thing is, though, the A.I. is smart -- especially for an SNES title -- and merciless. It's not just the enemies that make the game tricky, either; the game mechanics are rather unforgiving. The line of sight system is particularly punishing. All too often you'll end up ending your turn with several enemies just outside your visual range, thus giving them the opportunity to stroll on over and bust a couple caps in your behind.

That leads me to my biggest complaint about the game: the turn system. The "My turn. Okay now you go." set up really doesn't lend itself to this sort of game. Not when combined with an Action Point system at any rate. It's rather frustrating when during the opponents turn, they can pop one character around a corner, squeeze off a couple bursts and then drop back behind cover, while any of your team that happened to survive just stand around with dumb looks on their faces. Now granted, you can do this too, but it's still somewhat upsetting to watch half your force get cut down without you being able to do anything about it. Even the ability to use a few left over A.P. to allow your character to shoot at the first enemy that pops into view would be something.

Graphics and sound are about what you might expect from a late-run Japanese SNES title. Colorful anime-styled sprites abound, and they're all pretty well animated, particularly the attack animations. Snipers peer through their scopes, shotgunners operate the pump action, it all shows good attention to detail by the artists. Music is decent; it's nowhere near, say, Chrono Trigger, but it does the job without getting irritating. The sound effects are similarly utilitarian, from the little pffuut of the B.B.s being fired to the cries of "Hit" as the characters get tagged. All in all, the game's not really high art on either the visual or auditory front, but it gets the job done.

Finally we come to the main reason to play this game: the guns. And there are a lot of them. You start out with a wide selection of handguns, SMGs, assault rifles, shotguns, sniper rifles, and light machine guns to pick through, and you get another every time you beat one of the 24 maps in the single player 'campain'. I put that in quotes because there's really no story here. I mean that literally, too. There's no character interaction, not dialog beyond the short snippets of your units radioing in when they spot an enemy's movement. I guess, and this is just a stab in the dark, that you're participating in some kind of survival game tournament, but if that's true there's no clues in game pointing one way or the other.

Honestly, I think this game would be better on a handheld system, as opposed to a console. The disconnected nature of the single player game, combined with the ability to save mid-mission, makes it ideal for playing for fifteen minutes when you've got nothing better to do. Still, it's a fun little game, and worth giving a try if you like tactical games, or, you know, guns. AGTP even did a translation patch for it to change the minute amount of text in the game to English. Ball Bullet Gun gets a seven out of eleven.

Final Score:
7/11

I've really got no clue what I'm going to do for next time. I might have HoMM5 by then, so you might get a full review of that. Or maybe not. Oh well, I'll figure something out, I'm sure. See y'all later.

F*ckin' Otaku is just ****ed. (Mini-Update)

2006-05-30T15:06:00.000-07:00

Last time I did one of these Mini-Updates, it was for the greatness that is Haruhi. This time however, my subject, as well as my reaction, are rather dissimiliar. One might almost say... completely opposite.

F*ckin' Otaku

I can practically hear the derisive comments forming in the minds of some of you out there, so allow me to forestall them by saying I used to like that site. I originally came across it several years ago and actually found it to be rather amusing. I didn't agree with everything they said there, certainly, but that's hardly a prerequisite for enjoyment. Heck, I link three very awesome people over there on the sidebar, all of whom I admire greatly, and if I agree with one out of three points one of them makes in a given statement we're doing pretty darn good. And while the people over at FuKu, as they call it, were often arrogant and overly self-righteous, they also usually tempered it with a measure of good-humor. And so, I went back there yesterday, after having more or less forgotten about it for a good length of time, and wandered into the first article I came across: their "Anime That Suck" review of Kasimasi.

I'll admit that I did like Kasimasi, up until the ending, at least. But, like most sane people, I wouldn't say that it was particularly good. So while I certainly knew I wouldn't be agreeing with many of the points made, I at least expected that the review process would be handled with the above-average level of intelligence and wit I remembered from the other reviews on the site. I couldn't have been proven more wrong had they tried. It was clear from the beginning that the reviewer had no intention of giving the series a fair shake, let alone liking it. This is not as notable as it may appear, though; it's a common trait shared by pretty much every other article on the site. FuKu does not tend to attract terribly open minded people. But this author pushed this inherent antipathy to new and unfortunate limits.

I pressed on, though, slogging through not only through the man's bias, but what I'm going to assume were his attempts at humor, though the only laugh I gave was a chuckle at the irony of an article on a site that bashes anime for it's over the top sexism using some of the most mysogynistic language I've had the misfortune of reading in a good long while. Not to mention the way he espoused that the only way for a guy to be a 'Real Man' is for him to be some testosterone flooded little twerp. This is something of a pet peeve of mine, so you'll understand if my opinion of this author did not in fact raise much upon reading that. Still, I pressed on, if for no other reason than to see what other ridiculous statements the man could bring to the table. Got a bit more than I bargain for there, though.

And I quote: "...So if you're going to do a serious show involving people discovering their homosexuality, you do need to deal with [...] any feelings of shame the couple [...] themselves feel..." Yes, because of course the first thing every budding lesbian thinks upon realizing her sexuality is that she's doing some terrible thing that she should be ashamed of. Right.

I don't mind telling you folks, that, upon reading that line, I felt a dire urge to punch the monitor. And, should some fickle twist of Fate ever place this author in my path I hard pressed to resist performing a similar action upon his person. Look, no one says you have like homosexuality or gay people. ...Wait, strike that, there are quite a few people who would say that, but none around here. You have a right to your opinion on these matters, whoever you are and whatever that opinion is, but lambasting a work because it doesn't portray it or them as the social malady you would like it to pushes the definition of 'low' to new ~~heig~~- depths.

I'm not normally in the habit of giving scores to websites, since they change too often for the score to mean much, but I'll make an exception here. F*ckin' Otaku gets a score of zero out of eleven, giving it the dubious honor of my first every Zero. As a Zero, it is devoid of any entertainment value; watching grass grow would be more entertaining, and a better use of your time. For that matter, driving burning splinters under your fingernails would be a better use of your time¹, because at least then you wouldn't be providing them with support in the form of your pageviews. It may seem a little over the top of me to judge the entire site so harshly based on one article, but that article is much like finding a severed human finger in your meal. No matter how fine the rest of the meal may be, it is invariably tainted by the presence of that finger.

Okay, this mini-update ran longer than I'd intended, but I feel better for having written it. That is the purpose of this blog, after all: to get my opinions down on paper (figuratively speaking) and out of my head. Anyway, I have found a topic for my next proper update, an older and rather obscure, but still very good video game. Should be up in a couple days. Hope to see you then!

Oh, by the way, should any member of F*ckin' Otaku be reading this and would wish to argue with the statements I have made, I have some very simple and succinct advice for you: Get Bent.

(1:Mr the Tiger's Den does not in anyway recommend that you drive burning splinters under your fingernails. It is by all accounts quite painful, and should be avoided if at all possible.)

Negima! (Book) Review

2006-05-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Howdy, folks. Meant to update couple days ago, but we had a big nasty thunder storm; my computer blipped out on me twice, so I wasn't about to try anything that was going to take any length of time. It's not all bad, though: the storms have cooled things down around here quite a bit. A very good thing, because I was beginning to envy the people on the Titanic.

Been watching a bit of anime recently. Aside from Haruhi, which you all know about by now, I've haven't been watching much in the way of new series' this season. The only other one I'm closely following is School Rumble, which is in my opinion the best of the Azumanga knock-offs that popped up after Azuma-sensei opus was released. On the other hand, though, I have been going over some of my older stuff. Particularly, I just re-watched Gatekeepers 21. Ayame is a geek-goddess; that is all.

Oh, by the way, I managed to meet my deadline -- with a couple weeks to spare, even -- on my translation project and get it out on the web. This means that I'm in a rather serious happy place right now. So, if I'm not quite the bitter, cynical bastard you've all come to know and... know, then that's why. Don't worry too much: I'm sure I'll be back to normal by next time.

Well, aside from a vague temptation to convert to the church of Haruhiism, that's all that's been happening with me, so let's move on to the review. I know that some of you may feel that putting a graphic novel/manga under the book category is be pushing it a bit, but it's my blog, and I'll do what I want. Also note that this only covers the manga version of Negima. The anime version, by comparison, takes everything that is good about the series, piles it up, and then sets it afire and dances mockingly in the light of burning joy. Okay, that might have been a teensy bit of an exaggeration, but I'm still a bit torqued about what they did to Evangeline. Not to mention poor Setsuna... Alright, enough rambling. Review!

Negima!

While I don't quite share Ms. Friedman's near he-who-must-not-be-named level of distaste from him, I'm not exactly what you'd call a big fan of Akamatsu either. Love Hina started out alright, but quickly reached dangerously high levels of dumb. Fortunately, Akamatsu either learned from his mistakes, or (more likely) sheer chance caused him to get it right this time, because Negima is very good, bordering on awesome at times. That's not to say it's perfect, oo~oh no, but the bad is not only outnumbered, but also outgunned and outclassed by the good.

So, bad first, yes? The major problem that will hit you within minutes of opening one of thr books is... Well, lemme ask something first: Am I the only male anime fan on the planet who doesn't feel a pressing desire to view fourteen year old girls' underwear? Normally I wouldn't feel the need to ask this, but given the sheer preponderance of panty-shots in these books, I have begun to wonder. And these gratuitous pictures of underage undergarments are just the the tip of the fanservice iceberg here. Pretty much every moe you can imagine, and then some, is represented here at one point. Now, as a long term anime/manga fan, I've become pretty well desensitized to fan service, so I can get through it with little more than the occaisional eye roll or "was that really necessary?", but a less hardened veteran of Japanese pop-culture may find it all a bit difficult to swallow.

Second major issue I have is what I have come to refer to as Rowling's Cliche. Though it's been around a lot longer than the Potter books, and there's probably other terms for it, Rowling's work was is probably the best known example. It goes a little something like this: in a given area of expertise, be it fighting prowess, magical ability, or croquet playing, a female character will usually start out slightly stronger than the male characters due to her greater skill. However, the male characters invariably possess incredible amounts of raw talent, and since talent is a far more rare and precious thing than mere skill (*snort*), they will quickly surpass the female in every way, relegating her light combat support at best, or, more likely, to cheering from the sidelines. Now, Negima hasn't gotten to this point yet, and though the protagonist, Negi, has displayed some serious Mary-Sueism in terms of fighting ability (He mastered that very difficult brand-new technique in only two hours of practice?!?), the girls are, and this is important, still improving too. Most times, under the Rowling Cliche, the female characters are already as good as she's ever going to get when we first meet them. So the jury's still out on this one; it's definitely begun, but it may not actually go so far as to become the full Cliche. Time will tell.

And with the bad stuff out of the way, we can now move into the good. First thing that comes to mind would have to be the fight scenes. Now, given that this is a Shounen action series, the fighting has to be up to a certain standard anyway, but Negima goes well above and beyond this bottom line in pretty much every fight. First of all, the fights are clear and readily-followable. This might not seem notable to you, but after reading a few CLAMP manga, Mahou Kisi Rayearth in particular, I've come to appreciate easy to understand fight scene. The best part about the fights, though, is how every fighter has their own, distict fighting style. This isn't like Dragonball, where everyone uses the same straight-punching, fireball-throwing style. No, from Kenjustu and Aikijutsu, to Baji Quan and Northern Shaolin, it's got a pretty good variety going on, and, in so far as I can tell, the depictions are pretty accurate. And finally, what martial arts manga would be complete without the completely impossible yet mind-blowingly cool special techniques? Well, this one's got 'em in spades, with my personal favorite being Kaede's "Kaede Ninpo! Four Shadow Clone, Hazy Cross!"

Another seemingly unremarkable item that I feel I must comment on is how the protagonist is actually likeable. You might be saying that that's kind of what being a protagonist is all about, but, for my part, I rarely find myself liking the main character in a shounen manga. The best of them are usually stupid, hormone-driven jerks, and that's put it mildly. Negi, by contrast, is very intelligent, polite, and is a bit young for hormones to be much of an issue. So, I actually find myself cheering him on, rather than waiting impatiently for him to get out of the scene so I can focus on the characters I do actually like. Bit of a novelty, really. Of course, the supporting characters are pretty capable of grabbing reader sympathy, too. Evangeline in particular oozes awesome evilness; definite win there.

I suppose I should take a moment to talk about the translation, specifically Del Rey Manga's. They do a pretty good job, actually, for a professional outfit. Well written, definitely, but they do have a tendency to turn everyone into a bunch of smart alecs, which isn't terribly faithful to the original. There is one thing I take serious issue with, though: they bloody well shrink wrap the books! This is an abomination unto nature and all that is good and proper in the universe! Whatever marketing toad this little drop of genius came from should be shot where they die slow.

And finally, I have to give credit where's it's due; Akamatsu does his homework. From the Latin used in magical incantations, to martial arts techniques, the guy is quite thorough in his research. Now the series isn't complete yet, so any rating I give at this point would have to be provisional. As it is now, I'd give it a solid nine, but it could easily slip down to an eight or a seven if he screws something up... Ah, what the heck, I'm in a good mood, right? I'll give it the nine, and I'll be sure to let you all know if that changes.

Final Score:
9/11

Hokie-dokie, another one out of the way. Thing is, I have no clue what I'm going to do for next time. I've got a couple rants brewing up -- an educational-ish one about types of fanservice, and another one about yuri -- , but it hasn't been that long since the last one. I could go over the movie I just got from Netflix: Rhapsody in August... I dunno, we'll have to see. Ja ne!

It's Cool, but is it a Good Idea? (Meta-Post)

2006-05-18T10:59:00.000-07:00

This isn't your regularly scheduled (yeah, okay, that joke's getting old) update. That'll be up either later today, or sometime tomorrow, depending on how the day goes. No, this is another post about the blog itself. I ran across an interesting peice of technology yesterday: Plurn. (Big thanks, by the way, to Ser Nigolos over at Undead Karma for the indirect link, and Andrew over at 4th Avenue Blues for the direct link.) I've set up a trial run over at my new workshop if you want to check it out.

And now I find myself with a bit of a conundrum: I'd kinda like to put one up here, but there are a few things that make me hesitate. For one, I'm from the old-skool of webpage design: putting music or moving graphics on your page is like taking your cat for a walk on a leash; sane people avoid it, and those who actually do it are looked upon by the rest of society with scorn and some measure of pity. And also, I'm leery about adding too many gadgets and gizmos. I want to keep this place as friendly and accessible as possible; I'd rather it be my opinions that drive people away, not my webpage.

On the other hand, though, it would occaisionally be handy to be able to point y'all to a peice of music without having to provide download links. I dunno. Anybody out there in internet-land have any opinions on the matter? If nothing else, it'll stay up at the Workshop for a while, so go check it out, then come back and drop me a line. See yas.

Silent Hill (Movie) Review

2006-05-12T11:45:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one week? Hmm, no wonder it's been so cold down here lately. Like I said last time, I had to get this one out quickly before I finished repressing the memories of watching the film, I am a bit ahead of schedule. Hope y'all don't mind.

Been living the demo life these past few days, playing the demos for Heroes of Might and Magic V and Titan Quest. Titan Quest is better than I thought it'd be, which is interesting, because I thought it would rock hard. Think Dungeon Siege with everything that was wrong with it turned into pure greatness. Plus it has an Asian setting now, so I'm actually salivating thinking about it. Yes, I am a loser, thank you for pointing that out. As for Heroes, it's been close on a decade since I last played an HoMM game, so I can't say whether or not it's a huge improvment over it's predecessors, but it a good game when taken on it's own.

In non-game related news, I've been listening to the Kashimashi character image singles, which are pretty good, but awfully depressing. This is more because of my frustration over how that series turned out than any quality of the songs, though. Other music in my playlist has included Melocure's debut -- and regrettably only, since one of the singers passed away not long after the album was released -- album, Melodic Hard Cure. It's an interesting mix of sugary pop and wall-of-sound maximalism. I rather like it.

On to this entry's review: Silent Hill the movie. Not to be confused with Silent Hill the games, or indeed anything vaguely resembling a good movie. And if that seems a tad harsh; baby, I'm only getting started.

Silent Hill

Silent Hill the movie is about a long, painful decent into Hell. Whether this journey is supposed to be made by the protagonists or the audience, however, is never really resolved. Hopefully the sequel will clear that up. Okay, joking aside, Silent Hill is a bad movie. It would even be a bad movie for a movie based on a video game, but unfortunately Doom the movie caem out recently and totally screwed that scale up. That's not to say that Silent Hill doesn't have it's good points, it's just that these enjoyable elements constitute a little Toy Poodle against the Rotweiler of suckiness that is the rest of the movie.

The best part about this movie, and the only part that was in any way enjoyable, would have to be the soundtrack. However, since every track played in the movie is either a re-mix or a re-arrangement of a track from one of the games, I can't count this as a great achievement. Still, the music is good, though possibly a little out of place at times. Some of the tracks seem a little too... cheerful for a 'getting chased by horrific monsters from your darkest nightmares' scene. The only other major positive I can think of for this movie would be that, as my Father noted when we exited the theater, it does remain somewhat faithful to the feel of the games, in a "will you take the envelope from the box: yes/no" sort of way.

Okay, good stuff out of the way, now for the bad stuff. Hope you brought a lunch. The first thing that will hit you, about 30 seconds into the movie, is that the acting is painful.I mean that literally; towards the end I was actually flinching at each woodenly delivered line. That's not to say that every actor was terrible. Boromir, The Borg Queen, and the Samara knock-off/little girl's pissed offed-ness/demon-thing all did pretty good jobs, downright amazing jobs when you compare them with the rest of the cast.

The next element of the movie I found to be rather poorly executed is one that most other reviewers seem to be lauding: the visuals. Maybe I've been talking with Jarataur too much, but I found the CG in this film to be rather irritating, particularly during the pans across the city and the Otherworld transition sequences. It's not that they were neccesarily bad, it's just that the games did them much better. And that's just it; when a clunkly five year old graphics chip can put out better effects that a modern bleeding-edge supercomputer can render, there is a bit of a problem. And for a horror movie, especially one based off of one of the scariest games of all time, there really weren't any scary moments. This is primarily due to the camera, which set up everything so far in advance that when the creature finally does jump out of the shadows we aren't surprised because we've been getting to know it for the last ten minutes.

Finally we come to what I will rather generously refer to as the plot. My returning readers may have noted that I don't usually talk about the plot of a work -- party because of philosophical reasons and party because I never feel like I can really describe it properly -- but this time I do have somthing I must say. Tycho, over at Penny Arcade got it right: This is not a movie based off of a game. It is a movie based off of how the average non-gamer thinks about games. That is, pretty to look at(well, in a manner of speaking) lots of violence, and a decent amount of shock moments (even if they weren't very good), but an incoherant-at-best plot and overall poor storytelling. I would implore any non-gamer reading this to understand that this is not the case for all video games. There are some games that fall into that category, sure, but then there are some, of which the Silent Hill games are examples, that match any other medium you care to name in terms of story and storytelling.

My final verdict: Don't bother. If you have some strange desire to watch a very bad movie based on a very good game there are several options availible to you in a format that allows to peruse them from the comfort of your own home. This one gets a five out of eleven, placing it somewhere above He Who Must Not Be Named's The Village and somewhere below Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space in terms of entertainment value.

Final Score:
5/11

For those of you paying attention, no, I do not think that BloodRayne was a good game. I just ran out of titles for my little sequence. Anyhow, next week (heh) we will be moving back east with a review of the Negima manga by Akamatsu. 'Till then.

Thud! (Book) Review

2006-05-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

See? Told ya that nearly-once-per-week updating thing was too good to be true. Some of you may be asking by now why I don't just officially change my update schedule to every other week. This, of course, is a silly question. If I did that, then this place would end up seeing new content every three weeks instead. Procrastination has nothing to do with the actual amount of time available.

And, actually, I do have something of an excuse this time. Between my attempts to regain a state of gainful employment, and pushing my self to reach my self-imposed deadline (and we all know how good I am at those!) for the translation project I'm working on, spare brain power for use here has been in rather short supply. Which is also why I don't have any of those little blurbs I usually do up here this time.

No, wait, that's not true, I do have one: Finished reading the second volume of Shoujo Sect (sorry, no link. None of the usual suspects has anything on it. Not surprising, all things considered.) It is highly superficial, as Ms. Friedman said, but in my opinion the scene where Momoko is charging down the hallway, says to Sayuri, "Wait a sec." then clong! fire extinguisher to the back of the head, and Sayuri goes through the -- closed-- door face first, much to the surprise of the students on the other side, was well worth the price of admission.

Alright, today's review: This isn't the book I was planning on reviewing, but since I can't seem to get around to finishing that one, I'm doing this one instead. It's from the Discworld series by my favorite author of the ones that write in English, Terry Pratchett.

Thud!

Pratchett has time and again shown himself to be among British comedy's finest, and Thud! is no exception to this. But as good as he as at funny, it's far from the only trick he's got. This book easily shifts from laugh-out-loud ot tear jerker, and then back again, a Universal Studios Orlando ride of emotions and sensations. A good part of what lets him do this, without any apparent effort, is his sheer mastery of prose. Many, possibly even most, authors' skills peak after five or six novels, and never see much improvement after that. Pratchett's cranked out thirty-four Discworld novels alone, and keeps getting better with each one. In some ways, his novels transcend reading, as the prose has become so streamlined that almost no mental energy is required in decoding it, leaving it all free to be used to simply experience the story.

Speaking of the story, this is a Vimes book; I normally wouldn't bother with pointing this out, but I've met a couple people for whom this fact, or, rather, the corresponding appearance of one Nobby Nobbs would be enough to turn them away from the book. However, Nobby's role in this book is fairly limited, and his page-time relatively short, so if you are one such person, Thud! may be stomachable after all.

The Discworld books are primarily satires, and so no discussion of one would be complete without talking about the jokes and parodies contained in the text. Being a tech geek by nature, I must say that I loved the Gooseberry Imp and the Bluenose and iHum technomancy jokes. And, while I'm trying my darnedest to keep any traces of real-world politics out of this blog, it would be difficult to talk about this book without noting how the themes of racial and ethnic tension so neatly match up with what we're seeing in real life. The thing is, if this book had been released a hundred years ago, they'd be saying the same things. And I'd bet my last dime that the same would be true a hundred years in the future, too. That's the beauty of Pratchett's satires; they don't date themselves.

Though they don't have the epic, world-spanning storylines of a Tolkien or a Jordan, the Discworld books are just as enjoyable, thought-provoking, and in my opinion, far better written. Thud! stands as the best of the series, at least until the next one comes out, and thus earns itself a ten out of eleven. I would be hard pressed to think of a Western World book series that I would quicker recommend than Discworld, and Thud!'s a great place to get started.

Final score:
10/11

Something I'd like to mention before we go: if my earlier mini-post about Haruhi intrigued you, there's some serious translatin' of the novels going down at Baka-Tsuki. They're pretty serious about it, and they're not doing a half bad job, so go take a look. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

Next time will be a review of the Silent Hill movie, and should be fairly soon, since I have to get it done before my brain completes the process of repressing the memories.... Until then, farewell.

Oneecon; or, Onee-sama 'tteba! (Rant)

2006-04-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Getting a little closer to one week between posts. I may make it back to once per week yet. Don't hold your breath, though. At any rate, I've got a few things to mention before we get started. For one, I've discovered an interesting time-dilation effect with Masami Okui's music. The track data lists them as being four to five minutes long, and the clock agrees, but I swear I experience at least double that amount of actual time between the beginning and the end of one of her songs. Dunno exactly what's happening, but it's kinda fun. Also, I finally watched the ending of Kashimashi. It resolved well enough, with a couple of minor questions and one massive WHAT THE ****!? Probably won't be reviewing it, though. Lastly, I've managed to get caught up on the Negima manga, which is much better than it has any right to be, considering it's written by Akamatsu. I likely will be reviewing that one in the somewhat near future; I normally don't like reviewing works that haven't been completed, but there's quite a bit about it I want to talk about, so I'll make an execption in this case.

All right, on to today's actual content. This rant has been bouncing around in my brain for some time now, but it wasn't until Ms. Friedman's comment on the subject that I felt a real need to write about it. And for the execptionally observant, yes, I am complaining about the answer I got to a question I myself asked. Why? Because I'm a rotten bastard, that's why. And if you haven't figured this out by now you obviously haven't been paying enough attention. Now let's get moving, yes?

Oneecon; or, Onee-sama 'tteba!

Before I really get going, I should probably provide a little definition, right? After all, not much point in whining at people if they have no clue what you're talking about. Onee-sama is very respectful Japanese for 'elder sister.' Going into too much more detail would require a rather lengthy lecture on the Japanese language, so imagine it being kinda like some upper-crust British kid talking about 'Mother' or 'Father', only referring to an older sister instead. Now, within the family this is fine, if maybe a little creepy. It's when it's used to refer to someone not related to the speaker that I begin to take issue.

Yes, yes, just a natural extention of senpai-kohai relationships. Right. And in a vacuum -- and certain series', like Marimite -- this would probably be true. But, as far as I see, in a good 95 percent of cases what it really boils down to is an out. A way for creators and companys to cover their own behinds. They include Yuri content, but then when someone comes along asking about it they can say, "Love? What love? Oh that! They don't love each other that way! They love each other like... Sisters! Yeah, that's it!" I'm reminded of the classic Bee Train line: "If you want to see them as being in love, then they're in love." Gee, that's great. Way to take a stand, guys. Tell me, how are y'all doing on saving up for that spine transplant?

I know, I'm being unfair. Everybody's gotta look out for them selves, and being too controversial isn't good for profits. But it bugs me when people do things half-asses like that. Just go a little ways in before before they chicken out and run back to where they started. If you're going to include a lesbian character, either do it, or don't! You don't have to throw it in people's faces, but enough with the cheap symbolism and over-used undertones. Stop hiding behind outs and deniability.

Oh well, pipe dreams are fun, aren't they? Meanwhile, I'll continue to twitch every time I hear the word 'Onee-sama!' and each time I see a bunch of lillies appear around the frame, and progress will continue on in that old fasioned '2 steps back, (2 +/- 1) steps foward' manner...

Unfocused, random, and pretty well pointless; everything a rant should be. In other circumstances I might be worried about driving away readers with these things, especially when you consider the subject matter. But, hey, can't lose what you don't have, right? In any event, there shouldn't be too many of these. I only have one more that I really want to do right now, and after that they should be extremely few and far between. Anyways, next time I'll be writing about that book I was supposed to have reviewed two posts back, so thanks for reading, and I'll see you then.

The Awesomeness of Suzumiya Haruhi (Mini-Update)

2006-04-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't the regular update for this... er, last week. That'll be up sometime tomorrow. Well, probably. Instead, today I'm to do a little piece about my latest love affair. So break out the strobe lights, glow sticks, and ecstasy tabs, 'cause I'm gonna rave.

The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi

This isn't really a review, since the show's only three episodes in. If you really need to label it, I suppose the most accurate term would be 'a series of gushing platitudes written by a slightly demented fanboy.' This show is great. It rocks harder than a granite Eddie Van Halen, is cooler than a cucumber in a tuxedo, and is more awesome than a really awesome thing that also happens to be quite awesome. I have actually run out of words to describe how good it is, that's how good it is. Let me put it this way: if this show keeps up the level of quality displayed in the first three episodes -- and I see no reason why it won't -- it will not only be an easy Eleven, but will more than likely usurp Azumanga as my all time favorite T.V. series.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go work on my Japanese so I can start reading the novels...

(And, yes, I did use the word 'awesome' five times in a two paragraph post. So, if the 80's calls, tell them no, they can't have their word back, I'm still using it.)

Incompetent user; please excuse the mess. (Meta-Post)

2006-04-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, it has just come to my attention that this 'blog looks rather... screwy in I.E. As a serious Firefox devotee, I had no clue until about five minutes ago. Really, people, if you see something that doesn't look right, lemme know, okay? 'Cause the odds are good that the only reason it's still around is because I haven't seen it yet.

In the mean time, I'll try to track down all the little buggies that are messing the place up, and then requiant myself with my old nemesis Opera to make sure it works there, too. Oh, and is there a version of Safari for Windows...? Yareyare....

Important Emergency Update!!

It's fixed. More or less, anyway. It should work better now. Turns out the problem was that my nifty-neato Recent Posts drop-down menu was just a teensy bit too wide for the sidebar's area. Firefox, the laid-back, cool browser that it is, had no problems with this. I.E. on the other hand, got a little pissy, and sent the sidebar down to the bottom where there was more room for it. So, I compensated by making the whole thing wider, so that the drop-down menu fits a little more comfortably. Now I just gotta hope like heck that nobody wants to view this place at 800x600, 'cause it gets kinda ugly there.

Oh, and would it kill Blogger to implement a WYSIWYG editor? Really?

Mai-HiME/Mai-Otome (TV) review

2006-04-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yup, late again. You might as well get used to it, folks; it's probably gonna be a rather common occurrence. Actually, I did mean to have this up last week around Friday, but then Kingdom Hearts 2 showed up in the mail. I'm only just now resurfacing. No, I'm not reviewing it just yet -- I've got other stuff I want to go over first -- but I do have a couple things to say. First, Sephiroth is a pansy, and I really wish Squeenix would find a new uber-secret-boss-type-person. And second, of all the FFVI characters to include, why Setzer? ****ing Setzer! C'mon!

At any rate, today's review is going to be a little different. The two TV series above so closely related that reviewing them separately would a bit of a waste of time. I know I said last time that I'd be reviewing a book, but Ms. Friedman's Review the other day prompted me to set down my own thoughts about the two shows. Yes, they're both anime, so of my readers (both of you), I know that approximately 50% will not be interested in this review in the least. So you may as well stop reading now. (Yeah, I'm looking at you.) For the rest, onward and upward!

Mai-HiME and Mai-Otome

Okay, before we really get going, I should provide a little back story. Y'know, to make sure nobody's confused. These show are almost exactly the same, and yet almost completely different. That help? No? Well, here's the deal: Mai-HiME came first, and it was apparently popular enough that people in charge that they decided to do it all over again with the same characters, only with a new story, setting, and a couple new people thrown in for good measure. Yeah, it's kinda weird, but it works. Sort of. Honestly, the whole thing plays out like some AU Fanfic written by some moderately talented, if slightly wacko, fan.

While neither show is bad, per se, each has it's problems. For instance, both shows are positively infested with Fanservice, albeit comparatively tame examples. No actual nudity and no underwear displays, but a lot of big-breast gags and cheap excuses to show the characters in swim-suits or gym uniforms. There's also a good bit of Yuri-service tossed in, which I don't mind at all, personally, but I know some won't like it.

Other problems include the somewhat moth-eaten plots, and, of course, the infamous Ending (SFX on a blog are kinda tricky, so if you could just imagine an ominous-sounding reverb/echo combo on that, I'd be much obliged.) More specifially, Mai-HiME's ending. I'm trying to make this as close to a spoiler-free blog as humanly possible, so I'm not going to go into detail, but some things must be said. One, if you didn't see it coming from around episode, what is it, 6? then you should really look into attending some remedial classes in up-taking. And it wasn't that bad! Really! I don't know why so many people get so worked up over it. Yeah, it was kind of dumb, but it wasn't the end of the world. Their's or our's.

Now that we're past the bad stuff, let's start looking at what was done right, shall we? The animation for both series was both clean and tight with relatively few corners cut, which is always a relief. Both shows managed a nice balance of comedy and drama, with both being highly effective; laugh out loud and tear-jerker moments a-plenty. While both series do equally well in either category, there are some pronouced differences. Mai-HiME was weighted more heavily towards the drama side, and the art was a bit darker to reflect this, while Mai-Otome was more comedy, with a lighter and more colorful art style.

Where these shows really shine, though, is in their characters. Which is most likely why the creators just copied most of them over from the first to the second. There is a slight problem, though. The characters are all either oh-em-gee awesome, or reach-through-the-screen-and-throttle-them aggravating; there's not a lot of middle ground. This leads to some rather extreme emotions being instilled in the viewer. I was actually screaming "KILL HER!!!" at the screen at one point. (And they never did, either, dammit.) That aside, the characters that are cool, are really cool, and will likely stay in your consciousness for a good long time.

In the end, Mai-HiME is overall better. Better written, a little bit easier to suspend disbelief over, and is a little more serious. But Mai-Otome is more fun, with a lot less angst and a more cheerful outlook. Thus, I rate them the same: eight out of eleven. Not a bad way to kill some time, if you like anime at all, but not exactly genius level material, either.

Final Score:
8/11

Award:

Aishiteimasu, baby!

This, right here, is what has stopped me from sending a nice thank-you bomb to Sunrise (the company that makes of both of these series) the last time they pulled an "oops, she died!" plot twist on me. An incontrovertible Yuri-confession. Sure, at the time she was so far off the deep end she needed scuba-gear, and sure the odds of the girl she confessed to actually returning her feelings are about the same as having your winning lottery ticket struck by lightning twice (at least in the pertinent universe. In the other, things are different...), but still, Sunrise put in one girl confessing to another in a mainstream anime and didn't leave some 'out' they could back peddle through. So they deserve an award.

Next time's probably going to be my first actual 'rant' here, so it'll be a little different from what you've experienced so far. Should be fun though, so see you then!

Amelie (Movie) Review

2006-03-30T17:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I know I'm late. I'm not going to give excuses, mostly because I just don't care that much. And since I've dawdled enough, let's head right into the review, shall we?

Amelie

Before we begin, repeat after me: "Subtitles are not Closed Captioning. Subtitles are not Closed Captioning. Subtitles are not Closed Captioning." Okay, that done, let's move on to the movie. As I mentioned before, several people have told me that this is one of the best films ever made. It would be wrong to say that I can't argue with that, because I am more than contrary enough to, but I would do so knowing that I am a lying bastard. This movie is awesome.

The first really amazing thing about this movie is that it managed to include some serious character development -- on more than a superficial level -- while still being short enough that, were you to see it in a theater, you wouldn't end up faced with the hard choice of whether seeing the end of the movie or escaping with your bladder intact is more important to you. And it's not just the main character that grows over the course of the film, but also many of the little supporting people that most films would just throw away after their usefulness was through change in both obvious and subtle ways. Now, of course, the character growth is rather the point of the movie; there wouldn't be must left if you took it out. But it was done so masterfully that I felt it was still worth mentioning.

But the best part about this movie is the humor. Normally I'm not a far of the semi-random brand of comedy that Amelie uses, but it was it done well enough to be an exception. The gnome bit was particularly inspired. And while it knew how to be funny, the movie also took to being serious with aplomb. The acting was overall subdued; not a lot of melodrama or heartfelt monologues. But, in particular, Audrey Tautou's portrayal of the painfully shy Amelie is not only wonderful, but also immediately identifiable with by all of us introverts.

I only have one minor quibble, and it's not with the movie itself, but rather with the DVD version. Look, Miramax, just because we don't speak the language, doesn't mean we're deaf. Or blind. If we see a character opening a window, most of us are capable of coming to the conclusion that the sound that accompanies it is the sound of a [window opening]. Not a huge intellectual leap, you might say. Like I said, not a fault of the movie itself, and I'm not going to penalize a work just because I'm too lazy to learn the proper language to watch it in it's original form, but it is irritating.

Anyway, aside from that, this is a movie I would recommend to anyone. Well, except for small children. It does have an 'R' rating for a reason. Since I am not a small child however, and I am going on the assumption that most of the people reading this blog aren't as well, I'm giving the movie an unabashed 11 out of 11. My second Eleven movie, and the first Eleven posted on this site. A big thanks to Jarataur and Mr. Swaim for recommending this to me.

Final Score:
11/11

Alright, I've been reading a couple of interesting books this last week, so I will likely end up reviewing one of them for the next review. I'll try to get back into my once-per-calender-week review schedule, but given my overall apathy toward most things in life, I can't make any promises.

Moving Blues (Meta-Post)

2006-03-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry, folks, no real update this week. Moving and it's associated chores have left me too drained to read, play, or watch much of anything, aside from my usual online fare. On the other hand, though, next weeks review should be something good. I've had a number of people it's one of the best movies ever, so I have ordered Netflix to wing it my way. With a little luck, it should arrive by Tuesday.

So until then I get to settle in at my new(ish) place. As much as I hate moving, really, it does feel good to be out of that old house, and away from it's former residents. I love my Mother, I really do, but it is nice to have her out of my hair for a while. And as for my step-father, well, it's not that I really dislike him, but I do like him a great deal more now that he's several hundred miles away.

So, anyway, until next time, a toast: To moving out, and moving on. Cheers!

Phoenix Wright (VG) Review

2006-03-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

Last time I reviewed a game that was, well, not-so-hot. In comparison, this game burns like the wings of the Firebird. This week's review: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney of the Nintendo DS.

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

Pheonix Wright follows the story of the titular Phoenix Wright ('Nick' to his friends), as he works his way up the ranks from a rookie defense lawyer to a perfect-record Ace Attorney. Yes, folks, this is the one and only lawyer-sim ever released in the 'States. Actually, 'sim' is kind of the wrong word; this game really has the feel of one of the old (relatively speaking) graphical adventure games of the early nineties. While the majority of the game has you in the courtroom, battling to prove your client innocent, another good portion is spent at the scene of the crime and related areas. You see, in the Phoenix Wright universe, defense lawyers are expected to be private investigators on the side, and dig up clues to show that the people they are defending aren't the real culprits. Kind of an odd set up, but it adds variety to the game, even if the clue finding is pretty easy. (You can't move along in the game if you haven't found the stuff you'll need to make it in court. A good thing, to be sure, but it does lead to some rather blatant hint-dropping at times.)

The real meat of the gameplay, though, takes place in front of the bench. The court system in this world is a little strange, too. Basically, the Prosecutor has most of the power in court: he calls all the witnesses, and makes all the arguments. It's your job, then, as the defense attorney, to shoot him down. This obviously wouldn't fly in the real world, but it does make the gameplay a lot less cumbersome than it would be otherwise, so it can be forgiven here. At any rate, the main way you win your cases in the game is by tearing holes in any of the prosecutor's witness's testimony. For the most part, you're going on the assumption that your client is innocent, thus it stands to reason that anyone who says that they are guilty is lying; you just have to find a way to prove it.

This leads to my only real complaint with this game: It's a little too linear in its thinking. I don't mean story-wise, I mean in terms of what you can do when. It can get rather irritating when you can see a contradiction in the witness's testimony, and have evidence to prove it, but it's not the contradiction that the game wants you to point out at that time. You can only present the 'wrong' evidence a limited number of times before the judge just gets fed up with you and declares your client guilty, leading to a game over. This really becomes a problem later on in the game when savepoints get farther apart and the cases get more and more complex.

Don't let that little bit of gray cloud scare you off, though, 'cause the rest is all sunshine. This game's really not about the gameplay. I know that seems a little contradictory, but it's true; this game is all about the story, and the characters you meet as it unfolds. The writing in this game is beyond tight. From the laugh-out-loud humor to the nail-biting, down-to-the-wire climaxes, this game has hands down the best writing I've ever seen in a game, and some of the best I've seen anywhere, period. Part of the reason for this is that the translators where given free reign to re-work the original text as they needed. This means that, rather than the sometimes awkward literal translations you get in most games, the entire thing was re-written to make sense to us English speakers, only leaving the underlying plot intact.

As many kudos as I have to give to the translation team for their work, the characters in the game make the story work as much as the writing does. Phoenix, for starters, is one of the most genuinely likeable characters I've seen in a very long time. From his reactions to his insecurities to his devotion to his clients, he's just a really good guy. And the supporting cast, both Phoenix's clients and the various people that he meets over the course of the cases are varied and interesting, although if you have an extreme aversion to puns you might find a few of their names a shade aggravating. Even the characters we're not supposed to like all work perfectly in the story.

This game really isn't for those who like a lot of action in their entertainment. Courtroom drama makes for a gripping read, but it's hardly Quake. Those that just want a good, solid story, though, could do far, far worse. 10/11; it's not quite perfect, but it's darn well close enough.

Final Score:
10/11

Award:
Best. Villians. Ever.

Move over, Kefka. Step aside, Shai'tan. In fact, all you so called 'bad guys' can just move it on out, 'cause there's a new set of villians in town, and they own all your pansy behinds. That's right, Phoenix Wright has the absolute best villains in any work of entertainment, ever. From the love-to-hate-'em to the omigosh-why-did-you-have-be-a-bad-guy-I-liked-you, Phoenix's antagonists run the gamut, and there are none better.

------------
Well, that's two video-game reviews done. Time to move on to something else, yes? I'm thinking a movie next time, maybe a T.V. series. We'll have to see. Please look forward to it!

How it all works + Generation of Chaos (VG) Review

2006-03-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

Alright folks, after more delays than a Blizzard game and Twilght Princess put together, I am finally starting my 'blog. As it says above, this is primarily an Entertainment Review 'Blog (entertainment meaning any media that is intended to be entertaining. I.e. books, video games, movies, what have you.) with a little rantage as a side, so be prepared for a lot of opinion; most of which you're not likely to agree with. Which is fine, if you have a different take on whatever I happen to be talking about in a given post, feel free to say so in the comments. That is, in fact, what they're there for.

Now, on to how things work around here. My review system is... Needlessly complicated, but it's my 'blog, so that's okay. Basically, it's a modified a 1-10 scale, with 0 and 11 tacked on at either end. So a 0-11 scale, if you want to be precise. 0's and 11's are rare, though. A 0 is the absolute worst a thing can be, and an 11 the absolute best. Now, keep in mind, these ratings reflect the raw entertainment value I found in a work, and thus are even more subjective than the average ratings system, which is why I have the open door policy for conflicting opinions. More the better, in fact; bring 'em on!

Oh, and one other element to the review system I need to mention: the Awards. If a work does something special in some way, something that sets it apart from it's peers, then it'll get an Award for that certain element, even if the rest of it isn't all that hot. Just a little tilt factor thrown in there to keep things interesting.

Well that should about cover everything, so how about I give y'all a demonstration of how it all works out? Without further ado: my Review of Generation of Chaos (VG) for the Playstation Portable.

Generation of Chaos

Okay, so I was rather hyped about this game prior to actually getting my hands on it. And while it's not technically bad, it's not as good as I was hoping it would be. I suppose that this is usually the case. At any rate, it does have its good points. The visuals, at least the 2d stuff, are excellent. Well drawn, and the character portraits and anime sequences are satisfyingly high-res. The in-game sprites, while limited in animation, are pleasant enough to look at. While it can't really compare with, say, Guilty Gear or a Mana title in terms of 2d art, it certainly holds its own.

And, though it may not quite achieve all that it set out to do, it can't be argued that the developers didn't try. This game is epic in scope, with ten different nations to contol, almost 80 different unique unit types, and dozens of individual Generals to command your armies. You can't say that the game's light on content. That actually ends up being one of it's biggest drawbacks, though. Bit more on that in a minute. In terms of gameplay, the overall idea is pretty cool: You take your armies, in a sort of anime-infused Total War fasion, and move them around a board-game like over-world until you run across an opposing force. The combat then resolves with your two armies meeting each other on a small rectangular field and beating, blasting, or shooting the heck out of each other.

And this is where it begins to break down.... The first thing you'll notice, as you clash with your bitter enemy's cute little sprites is that you have next to no control over your forces. You can issue a formation order at the beginning of the fight, which your troops will only loosely obey, and then you can give them very, very general attacking orders in combat. I mean, really general. Charge and Stop Charging, and that's about it. This wouldn't so much of an issue for me, except for the fact that the A.I. in this game is bag-of-hammers dumb. They know how to move and use whatever weapon they happen to be holding, and that's it. Except, they're not very good at either, really.

Remember how I told you that the battles unfolded on small, rectangular fields? Well, small in this case means about wide enough for ten of your little soldiers abreast. The units themselves come with thirty. As you might expect, things get a little crowded, and your troops end up spending more time trying to navigate around they're fellows than actually giving the enemty what-for. This, coupled with the fact that changing orders mid-battle tends to make your forces not move for several seconds while they figure out what exactly it is you want them to do. This leads to battles often being exercises in frustration, especially when faced with foes that aren't burdened by the illusion that tactics or order make the slightest difference in the fight and charge at you en masse. This seems to work rather well for them, too.

Oh, and I haven't gone over the Generals yet, have I? They're the little guys and gals that lead your forces. They are exponentially stronger than the rank and file soldiers, and usually have some neat little Special Attacks that they can pull off, for, unfortunately, somewhat underwhelming effect. I mean, they look neat. Sparklies all over the place, and for the major plot-related characters they're proceeded by a nifty little speech and animated sequence. But they just don't do that much. Even the most powerful of them is only really useful for finishing off already weakened soldiers; they're more or less worthless against other Generals.

And battle isn't the only place you run into problems. If it was, I wouldn't mind nearly so much, as the fights are generally short, and I really do like the look of the game. Particularly the character designs. But, alas, the rest of the game has two highly persistent annoyances. The first, and greatest of these is the slowdown. Actually, it's more like the slooooooooowwwwdoooooowwwwwnnnnn.... This game will hang on the littlest things. Even just dialog leaves the poor thing gasping. Now, this isn't solely the game's fault. The Generation of Chaos exhibited here was originally the fourth part of a PS2 series in Japan. And while the PSP is pretty damn powerful for a handheld gaming system, it just doesn't have the muscle of its older, bigger cousin.

The second major frustration that persists through out this game is the sheer complexity of it all. I'm not against complexity, really, but everything in this game seems almost purposefully obscure. More than half of the menus are abbreviated into something that really doesn't make a lot of sense unless you already know what they stand for. Couple this with a less-than-helpful manual and no tutorial what so ever, and you'll be scratching your head trying to figure out even the most simple tasks.

All in all, the game has it's good points, but it will take a very patient person to dig down deep enough to find and enjoy them. I'm not one of those people, I'm afraid. This game gets a 6 out of 11. Not a horrible waste of time, but there are much, much better time wasters out there for your perusal.

Final Score:
6/11

No awards this time, but the next review should have one, so stick around!